You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
