i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
