I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
