allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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