Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
