Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
