You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
