You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
