no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
