so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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