true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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