I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
