Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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