yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
