bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
