Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
