I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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