I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
