my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
