I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
