dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
