I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
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