Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
