Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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