its not stalking. its research.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
