My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
