First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I look better un-naked...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
