got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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