Nicole vs. Life
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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