I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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