I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I didn't notice because vodka
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
