were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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