When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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