i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
