im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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