At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize