I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
