I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
