There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
