Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
