i permit you to call me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
