; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
