Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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