Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Floor bacon is actually really good
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