yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
