Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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