i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
