i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
