I need help removing her.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
