We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
