This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
