OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
