what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
