I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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